On Friday evening Jan. 22, 1999, I delivered a message to a youth group at The New Beginnings Church in Glen Avon, California. I thought the message was going to be "God calls this Life at Conception." But the message turned out to be a message of forgiveness. A greater message was spoken on the following Sunday morning - a true testimony to how an all knowing and loving God's promises are faithful, true and eternal for all those who accept His greatest gift to the world, Jesus Christ.
The youth group had formed a circle holding hands in the front of the sanctuary and as I approached this group two young girls separated and reached out for my hands. The Holy Spirit whispered in my left ear, "Fix your eyes on Marcy." Marcy, the group leader and her husband, Marlin were one of the first couples to welcome me into this church several months earlier.
I looked at Marcy standing in the circle to my far left and said, "Marcy, God has a message that I must deliver to this group tonight." Marcy gave me permission to speak, so I said, "I must tell three events in my past but first I must tell what happened to me as I was driving to Long Beach Tuesday morning."
I continued, "I was listening to a Christian radio station that was interviewing Pastor Alvin L. Howard, who was describing his ministry called, His Nesting Place. Later in this interview Pastor Howard said that since the Supreme Court's approval of Roe vs. Wade Bill, there have been approximately 35 million abortions performed here in America."
A girl of about 15 in this group immediately began crying. I thought this girl must be pregnant and God's message of 'Life at Conception' will stop her from having an abortion.
I continued saying, "After hearing of the 35 million abortions my memory of three messages that God has given me started replaying through my head; immediately after this the Holy Spirit whispered in my left ear saying, 'You must go to the youth group Friday night and tell your abortion stories.' So this is why I am here tonight.
I will begin with telling the third event first. On the night of Jan 22,'97, as I was saying my prayers and praying about the abortion issue the Holy Spirit spoke in my left ear saying, 'I will repay America double for her iniquities!' This brought back the memory of the two previous events about abortion, so I cried out, 'What is it God, what do You want from me? God, I am just a truck driver, who am I that You would say this to? I was deeply troubled over the Holy Spirit's comment, wondering if God was planning to use me in some way to make a difference in someone' life.'"
The young girl who had started crying earlier was now noticeable more upset.
I continued saying, "The second event happen one night as I was sleeping in my sleeper in Connecticut; I might have been asleep maybe an hour or so when I was suddenly awakened by a voice saying, 'As long as America allows abortion this nation is going down, down and down.' I believe this might have been in June of 1995. I jumped up to burst through the curtains to the front of the cab thinking there was someone there, but I found the doors were locked and the windows were up. I closed the curtains and sat down on the edge of my bunk and said, 'As long as... As long as America allows abortion.... this nation is going down, down and down.' I laid back down that night, troubled and wondering what God was trying to reveal to me about abortion.
At the time of the first event I was living in LaGrange, Illinois and driving in the Chicago area. It was Saturday morning Aug. 1,'92 when I suddenly decided that I would visit the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. There was a large display of the different stages of the life of the Fetus. Each fetus in its own jar with a plaque to the lower right of each jar explaining the developments of that stage of life. I had never seen anything like this before and I was becoming quite upset and teary-eyed viewing this display.
The young girl who had started crying earlier was now louder than ever.
Standing in front of the third to the last jar, I laughed at myself and said aloud, 'God, Why is this bothering me so?' Wiping my tears away, I said, 'Well, I have seen enough of this.' I started to turn to walk away, but my feet didn’t move; again I started to turn to the right, but still my feet would not move. Looking at the fetus through my tears; I heard a voice whispering in my left ear saying, 'This was life at one time!' I jumped and quickly turned to my left to see who was speaking, but there was no one there. I turned back to face the fetus and then looked to the left and then to the right to see if there was anyone watching me. I lowered my head to wipe my tears and then looked up and to my amazement, I hadn't moved, yet I was now standing in front of the next fetus, next to the last on this display."
I noticed at this point the young girl who had started crying earlier was now in the center of the circle, wailing with two friends trying to comfort her.
I continued saying, "I studied this fetus' body and then read the plaque describing its developments of this stage of life. I looked back to the fetus through my tears and the voice again spoke out saying. “Man called this life, a fetus!” I jumped and quickly turned to the left hoping to see who was speaking to me, but again there was no one there.
I realized at this point that it was the Holy Spirit who was speaking to me. Turning back to face the fetus I quickly glanced to the left and then to the right to see if there was anyone watching me, there was no one near me and no one watching that I could see. I lowered my head to hide the fact that I was wiping away my tears and again I raised my head to again be shocked, I hadn't moved, yet I saw that I was now standing in front of the last fetus of this display. Wiping my tears, I began to study this fetus and then I read the plaque describing the development of this final stage of life before birth. My eyes were drawn back to the fetus and again the Holy Spirit spoke, 'But God calls this, life at conception!'
Suddenly my feet bolted out to the right, not having ever been in this building before, I glanced ahead in the direction I was now moving and I saw the men’s restroom sign above a door. I thank God there was no one coming out this door as I hit it at nearly a dead run, and I really thank the Lord that there was no one in the first stall. I quickly sat down and started crying out, 'God, why did you do this to me? Who am I that You should do this to? God, I am just a truck driver, why have You done this to me?' I heard some voices that sounded as though it was two men at the basin - no doubt wondering what kind of maniac was loose in the first stall. When I heard their voices I got quiet to listen to what the men were saying, but then I clearly heard two men’s voices; one was a coworker Ron, that I had been working with for the past three months and the other was another coworker, Mike that I had worked with from 1982 through 1990. Both men were saying the same thing to me, 'You say you’re a Christian man, so how do you feel about abortion?' I cried out, 'God, I have always said, I know it is wrong, but it is the woman body!' I suddenly realized that was my thoughts and not God's thoughts. I cried out, 'God, That’s not what your Word tells us, is it? We were bought for a price and that’s with the shed blood of Jesus Christ.'"
I turned to my left and begin pointing to each one in the circle as I was saying, "The message for this group tonight is..." I paused with my eyes on the one girl who was still wailing and the Holy Spirit whispered in my left ear. I turned again to my left and began speaking the message to the group saying, "God can even forgive a sin as great as this."
With my heart breaking for this young girl, thinking she has already had an abortion; Marcy begins a long prayer as each of us joined in and after 15 minutes or so, we had gotten quiet and Marcy closes her prayer. I started to walk over to put my arm around the girl to tell her, God has forgiven you, now you need to forgive yourself. But Marcy spoke out, "His message, that was for me, a long, long, loooong time ago, I had an abortion and I have never told anyone."
The girl was Marcy's 15 year old daughter who had just turned in a term paper that morning titled, "Abortion and Its' Effects on The Family"
The Confirmations
Lying down in my bunk to begin my prayer that Friday night; I started with, "A long, long, loooong time ago, I had an abortion and I have never told anyone." Realizing it was not me who said that, but it was the Holy Spirit Who had spoken this through my lips; I cried out "God, Marcy had never truly forgiven herself for the abortion, but You have made it clear to her tonight that You have forgiven her." I continued for the next several minutes to praise God for having used me to deliver His message of forgiveness.
The Greater Message
That following Sunday morning at church, Marcy and Marlin were the greeters. After speaking with Marlin I turned to Marcy and said, "Marcy, God wants you to know that you will see your daughter when you get to Heaven." Shock at what I just said, I stepped back and asked, "Marcy, did you know that your first child was a girl?" Marcy answered, "Yes, I asked and a nurse in the recovery room told me it was a girl."
With all of this said, how could I not be a strong advocate for life?
This is the proof that God can forgive you for your past sins just as He has forgiven Marcy and millions of others.
In January 1991 when I cried out with godly sorrow for my past sins, asking God for His forgiveness and renewing my vow accepting Jesus Christ as my LORD and SAVIOR.. He forgave me just as He will forgive you; His promises never fail.
I often ask God to help me to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit, both to His voice and His very presence within me.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 2 Corinthians 7:10
As I have said many times in the past; one last thing you might ask yourself, why would anyone subject himself to criticism and persecution by making such bizarre statements, such as I’ve made in this writing, if they were not true? God is my witness to the truth of what I have written here and if you choose to deny what I have said, it is your choice.
May God deal with each of us accordingly!
The youth group had formed a circle holding hands in the front of the sanctuary and as I approached this group two young girls separated and reached out for my hands. The Holy Spirit whispered in my left ear, "Fix your eyes on Marcy." Marcy, the group leader and her husband, Marlin were one of the first couples to welcome me into this church several months earlier.
I looked at Marcy standing in the circle to my far left and said, "Marcy, God has a message that I must deliver to this group tonight." Marcy gave me permission to speak, so I said, "I must tell three events in my past but first I must tell what happened to me as I was driving to Long Beach Tuesday morning."
I continued, "I was listening to a Christian radio station that was interviewing Pastor Alvin L. Howard, who was describing his ministry called, His Nesting Place. Later in this interview Pastor Howard said that since the Supreme Court's approval of Roe vs. Wade Bill, there have been approximately 35 million abortions performed here in America."
A girl of about 15 in this group immediately began crying. I thought this girl must be pregnant and God's message of 'Life at Conception' will stop her from having an abortion.
I continued saying, "After hearing of the 35 million abortions my memory of three messages that God has given me started replaying through my head; immediately after this the Holy Spirit whispered in my left ear saying, 'You must go to the youth group Friday night and tell your abortion stories.' So this is why I am here tonight.
I will begin with telling the third event first. On the night of Jan 22,'97, as I was saying my prayers and praying about the abortion issue the Holy Spirit spoke in my left ear saying, 'I will repay America double for her iniquities!' This brought back the memory of the two previous events about abortion, so I cried out, 'What is it God, what do You want from me? God, I am just a truck driver, who am I that You would say this to? I was deeply troubled over the Holy Spirit's comment, wondering if God was planning to use me in some way to make a difference in someone' life.'"
The young girl who had started crying earlier was now noticeable more upset.
I continued saying, "The second event happen one night as I was sleeping in my sleeper in Connecticut; I might have been asleep maybe an hour or so when I was suddenly awakened by a voice saying, 'As long as America allows abortion this nation is going down, down and down.' I believe this might have been in June of 1995. I jumped up to burst through the curtains to the front of the cab thinking there was someone there, but I found the doors were locked and the windows were up. I closed the curtains and sat down on the edge of my bunk and said, 'As long as... As long as America allows abortion.... this nation is going down, down and down.' I laid back down that night, troubled and wondering what God was trying to reveal to me about abortion.
At the time of the first event I was living in LaGrange, Illinois and driving in the Chicago area. It was Saturday morning Aug. 1,'92 when I suddenly decided that I would visit the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago. There was a large display of the different stages of the life of the Fetus. Each fetus in its own jar with a plaque to the lower right of each jar explaining the developments of that stage of life. I had never seen anything like this before and I was becoming quite upset and teary-eyed viewing this display.
The young girl who had started crying earlier was now louder than ever.
Standing in front of the third to the last jar, I laughed at myself and said aloud, 'God, Why is this bothering me so?' Wiping my tears away, I said, 'Well, I have seen enough of this.' I started to turn to walk away, but my feet didn’t move; again I started to turn to the right, but still my feet would not move. Looking at the fetus through my tears; I heard a voice whispering in my left ear saying, 'This was life at one time!' I jumped and quickly turned to my left to see who was speaking, but there was no one there. I turned back to face the fetus and then looked to the left and then to the right to see if there was anyone watching me. I lowered my head to wipe my tears and then looked up and to my amazement, I hadn't moved, yet I was now standing in front of the next fetus, next to the last on this display."
I noticed at this point the young girl who had started crying earlier was now in the center of the circle, wailing with two friends trying to comfort her.
I continued saying, "I studied this fetus' body and then read the plaque describing its developments of this stage of life. I looked back to the fetus through my tears and the voice again spoke out saying. “Man called this life, a fetus!” I jumped and quickly turned to the left hoping to see who was speaking to me, but again there was no one there.
I realized at this point that it was the Holy Spirit who was speaking to me. Turning back to face the fetus I quickly glanced to the left and then to the right to see if there was anyone watching me, there was no one near me and no one watching that I could see. I lowered my head to hide the fact that I was wiping away my tears and again I raised my head to again be shocked, I hadn't moved, yet I saw that I was now standing in front of the last fetus of this display. Wiping my tears, I began to study this fetus and then I read the plaque describing the development of this final stage of life before birth. My eyes were drawn back to the fetus and again the Holy Spirit spoke, 'But God calls this, life at conception!'
Suddenly my feet bolted out to the right, not having ever been in this building before, I glanced ahead in the direction I was now moving and I saw the men’s restroom sign above a door. I thank God there was no one coming out this door as I hit it at nearly a dead run, and I really thank the Lord that there was no one in the first stall. I quickly sat down and started crying out, 'God, why did you do this to me? Who am I that You should do this to? God, I am just a truck driver, why have You done this to me?' I heard some voices that sounded as though it was two men at the basin - no doubt wondering what kind of maniac was loose in the first stall. When I heard their voices I got quiet to listen to what the men were saying, but then I clearly heard two men’s voices; one was a coworker Ron, that I had been working with for the past three months and the other was another coworker, Mike that I had worked with from 1982 through 1990. Both men were saying the same thing to me, 'You say you’re a Christian man, so how do you feel about abortion?' I cried out, 'God, I have always said, I know it is wrong, but it is the woman body!' I suddenly realized that was my thoughts and not God's thoughts. I cried out, 'God, That’s not what your Word tells us, is it? We were bought for a price and that’s with the shed blood of Jesus Christ.'"
I turned to my left and begin pointing to each one in the circle as I was saying, "The message for this group tonight is..." I paused with my eyes on the one girl who was still wailing and the Holy Spirit whispered in my left ear. I turned again to my left and began speaking the message to the group saying, "God can even forgive a sin as great as this."
With my heart breaking for this young girl, thinking she has already had an abortion; Marcy begins a long prayer as each of us joined in and after 15 minutes or so, we had gotten quiet and Marcy closes her prayer. I started to walk over to put my arm around the girl to tell her, God has forgiven you, now you need to forgive yourself. But Marcy spoke out, "His message, that was for me, a long, long, loooong time ago, I had an abortion and I have never told anyone."
The girl was Marcy's 15 year old daughter who had just turned in a term paper that morning titled, "Abortion and Its' Effects on The Family"
The Confirmations
Lying down in my bunk to begin my prayer that Friday night; I started with, "A long, long, loooong time ago, I had an abortion and I have never told anyone." Realizing it was not me who said that, but it was the Holy Spirit Who had spoken this through my lips; I cried out "God, Marcy had never truly forgiven herself for the abortion, but You have made it clear to her tonight that You have forgiven her." I continued for the next several minutes to praise God for having used me to deliver His message of forgiveness.
The Greater Message
That following Sunday morning at church, Marcy and Marlin were the greeters. After speaking with Marlin I turned to Marcy and said, "Marcy, God wants you to know that you will see your daughter when you get to Heaven." Shock at what I just said, I stepped back and asked, "Marcy, did you know that your first child was a girl?" Marcy answered, "Yes, I asked and a nurse in the recovery room told me it was a girl."
With all of this said, how could I not be a strong advocate for life?
This is the proof that God can forgive you for your past sins just as He has forgiven Marcy and millions of others.
In January 1991 when I cried out with godly sorrow for my past sins, asking God for His forgiveness and renewing my vow accepting Jesus Christ as my LORD and SAVIOR.. He forgave me just as He will forgive you; His promises never fail.
I often ask God to help me to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit, both to His voice and His very presence within me.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 2 Corinthians 7:10
As I have said many times in the past; one last thing you might ask yourself, why would anyone subject himself to criticism and persecution by making such bizarre statements, such as I’ve made in this writing, if they were not true? God is my witness to the truth of what I have written here and if you choose to deny what I have said, it is your choice.
May God deal with each of us accordingly!
